[and i don't want to speak these words, cause i don't want to make this any worse]
its so weird that i feel so stressed, jaded and depressed now. never in my life before i felt this way. its been more than 9months since i had tears. suddenly at 4am today i received an sms. and i just broke down.
deep deep inside i know that i still love her. we had our history and it was over. i cared so much about her and all i expect from her was just a small gesture of concern over me. i dont need her attention but she said i was seeking it.
i was talking about my problems and she thought that i was talking about 'us'. but never mind. she left and i was thinking maybe if she dont care so much about it now, maybe she would call me a few days later. but no, 2weeks later then i had to contact her.
maybe she was occupied with her life, maybe she's just too busy. yes i understand all that. and of course i have always accepted her apologies anytime, anywhere. but this will be the last time its going to happen. i will never let it happen to me ever again. the next time it happens, it has to stop.
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