| Friday, December 31 |
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-Aku Berhenti Berharap.
Aku Terdampar Disini, Tersudut Menunggu Mati. Aku Tak Percaya Lagi, Apa Gunanya Matahari Yang Dulu Mampu Terangi Sudut Gelap Hati Ini.- oo well, its like another 21hours more to end 2004. and im leaving for KL in a few hours time. god damit. i dont think i can get enough sleep. in like 4hours time, the rest of my classmate will be going to SCM class while me, ah loon and kenneth enjoying our sleep in the bus. haha. good luck mates. everybody have their own targets/resolutions for a brand new year. well same goes to me. 1) BE HAPPY(thats the most important thing) 2) i wanna strive hard and progress well in my studies(thats like my pri school motto. LoLx!) 3) save lots of money(for my wedding. LoLx!). 4) get driving license.(this is for real, i really wanna get it!!) 5) stop this emo shit in me. i think thats all for me. its not always only during new year that u can a new start. anyway, i didnt pay a single cent for billard and pool yesterday. courtesy of kenneth. i was like so very ambitious even though i was recovering from flu... i think making people pay for my billard/pool games double my recovering rate. i was so happy that i won! see, perseverance is the key to success boy... hehe. after billard and pool, i met fintz. we had dinner at al-amin. two days in a row i had cheese prata at al-amin. kaoz... the cheese was like expanding in my stomach... but its super nice la... and fintz, dont you spray that ralph lauren womens perfume of urs at me again! haha. i feel so malu when i took the bus back home with that perfume stuck on me... hahaha. *shy* btw, as promised, say hi to shakeila people! hahaha, u poor thing have to go to school later! hahahahaha. have fun in school yah! hehe. well, im going to take a rest for a while now. happy new year to all of you guys. wishing that this brand new 2005 will bring loads of good luck and good health to all of you. i miss the minah so much. take good care of yourself yah. Mat-Izan 31/12/2004 -end- |
| Wednesday, December 29 |
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[Down With The Sickness]
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing Broken your servant I kneel It seems what's left of my human side Is slowly changing in me Looking at my own reflection When suddenly it changes Violently it changes (oh no) There is no turning back now You've woken up the demon in me Get up, come on get down with the sickness Open up your hate, and let it flow into me Get up, come on get down with the sickness You mother get up come on get down with the sickness You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness Madness is the gift, that has been given to me Down With The Sickness - Disturbed. ok, im actualli really down with flu bug. either i was too excited till i got sick or because i walked in the rain. finally, last night i get to satisfy my cravings for prawn noodle. actualli i didnt eat prawn. instead i change it to fishball noodle. nice sia~ and i was excited to finally meet her. im planning to organise a chalet for my 20th birthday next year. =) by early april, its already my holiday. i think i'll make it a 3days 2night. 1st night for my classmates... 2nd night for my friends. but... haiyo... money money... i think i'll try to get my class to fund for the first night. hehe. anybody would like to sponser?? :p anyway, im glad singapore won 4-3 against myanmar in tiger cup. and im glad that i played pool today. eventhough i was down with the sickness, i made my friend pay $8.60. hahaha. thanx yah thong kiat. play with me some more la... i damn lousy la, i need more free practise... =) my room is in a total mess. i need to clear it up before i leave for KL. yes la, im like an ill pig in pig sty but i just ice cream and 2pieces of kfc chicken. oo yah, i had chicken rice for my breakfast then after pool, i went to al-amin and ordered one cheese onion prata, and one normal cheese prata and a coke. what a healthy diet i had today! duhz -_-' |
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[-Fragile Lives-Shattered Dreams-]
im kinda scared but somehow greatful that im living in this small country protected by big neighbouring country. indeed life is very fragile. once broken/lost, dreams are shattered. im quite sad that the tsunami claimed 44K of lives and i bet the number will grow. i think its just stupid for me to put that rose thingy on infront of my msn nick. why follow what others do just to show your condolences? there are people dying out there. not just when this kind of tragedy happens, then you will move your butt. be yourself and do whatever you can to help those needy people at anytime. and yah, now i know why the goverment is encouraging young parents to make more babies. so in 20-40years time, we have enough adults to work and to support our growing GDP(gross domestic product) rate. if only life is that simple and easy... take care always you all. |
| Tuesday, December 28 |
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hey, hope ya'all are doing great. here's an update on my life since i last blog.
tuesday 21/12: i went to west coast park with fina, nisa and alif. we had loads of fun. here are the pictures below. nisz, fintz, alif and izan 
izan, nisa and fintz 
fintz and izan 
wednesday 22/12 i had school from 8am-1pm. then work. thursday 23/12 i missed my IMGT 8am lecture AGAIN. 2nd time liao.... and im expecting to receive a love letter from the school very soon... weee~ my class supposed to end at 5pm... but my principle of marketing old-timer-ah-beng-kia lecturer ended it earlier... and im starting to love his way of teaching. then i went to play pool with serene. i felt bad to trash her :p... but we paid together la. then we went together to work. friday 24/12 HoHoHo. it's the season's greeting. my morning was greeted with some wonderful classmates who gave me at least 4 chocolates. meiqi bought a box of ferror roche(whatever the spelling is) and gave 19 of us one each. so rich. hahaha. my class was supposed to end at 1. but what the hell. it ended super early at 10.30. but anyway, i had plans. i went out fintz, nisz and alif again. we went to watch KUNGFU HUSTLE@marina gv!! hahaha. stupid but funny movie. i've always love stephen chow disgusting movie. i like the mee goreng at sakura@city hall restaurant. =) during the evening, we slacked at the merlion.... i was like reminiscing the jolly good time i had with her @ merlion during my second meet with her. i can still remember how fast she could chase her cousin. heh. i miss those days. saturday 25/12 HoHoHo. its christmas. and i went to sentosa with bud,harith,talib,fintz and nisz. i enjoyed myself alot during that day. had fun playing beach soccer with the girls. the rule was: only girls can score. practically we only have like 2 girls... so 2 teams have one girl. me and bud tag team all the way. my team won on both occasion when we exchange the girls. talib&harith, u guys suck! LOL! just kidding dudes. here's some pictures we took on that day. the gang @ siloso beach 
and yeah we took a picture with ME IN it finally! 
sunday 26/12 Happy 18th birthday Serene!!! haha. i didnt mean to forget your birthday. its just that i woke up damn late and i feel alil bit nauseated and seriously, i had some memory loss on that day, totally blur....dont ask me why. i stayed at home the whole until during the nite i went out for a while. and watching manchester united winning the game that night made me smile. monday 27/12 I WOKE UP LATE AGAIN TO SCHOOL. my class started at 10am but i woke up like at 9am... i was so bluddy pissed. i wasted another 7bucks again. sigh. i went to tanjong pagar with ah loon during my 3hour break. U OWE ME A TREAT TO SUSHI KING IN KL OKAY LOON? thanx hor. i met irwan-k while i was on the train to tanjong pagar. then went back to school for a tutorial. then i went to work. I WANT TO GET A QUIKSILVER SLING BAG THAT I SAW IN KL LAST MONTH which i cant find it in singapore. i think im gonna get it when i go KL for countdown this friday and its like 179ringgit(who can sponser this for me? hehehehe :p). =) its the seasons of greeting everyone. have fun and lets party! cheers! i love this classic old malay song by amy search. amy search - tiada lagi sia-sia sudah kita jalin cinta bila hati selalu berbedah sampai kapan lagi, ku harus menahan rasa kecewa, di dalam dada. seandainya kita masih bersatu tak mungkinkan menyatu walau masih ada sisa cinta biarkan saja, berakhir sampai disini. tiada lagi yang ku harapkan tiada lagi yang ku impikan biarkan aku sendiri tanpa dirimu. tiada lagi tentang cintaku tak akan lagi ku bersama mu biar ku simpan semua kenanganku bersamamu. sampai kapan lagi, ku harus menahan rasa kecewa, di dalam dada seandainya kita masih bersatu tak mungkinkan menyatu walau masih ada sisa cinta biarkan saja, berakhir sampai disini. |
| Wednesday, December 22 |
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are you biting your thumb at me sire?(got this qoute from romeo and juliet. its like, 'hey are you showing ur middle finger at me?) :]
im so taaayyyyyeeeeerrrrddd.... hey, im blessed that i've met a few people whose birthday is like so close to mine. so far, there's two of them. =) and yeah, today i get to know someone, who's birthday is exactly the same as mine! haha.. so excited! i have craving for prawn noodles... i have craving for prawn noodles. i have craving for prawn noodles. i have craving for prawn noodles. but what the hell. for the past one week, i've only eaten one meal a day. its a good excuse for you to cut down on your daily diet when u're depressed you know! its like, you have no mood for this and that... and yeah, it helps alot sometimes. Well, i guess this is growing up! :] |
| Tuesday, December 21 |
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i do not want to aruge/fight with her anymore. i dont want to be hurt anymore and same goes to her. i dont want to hurt her anymore. and to fina and nisa, im sorry that i banged the shopping centre new door. i didnt know the door was super light. i pushed it too hard. i didnt intend to make a scene there. lucky the door glass didnt break. pweh~
im glad that i went out with them today. we went to westcoast hawker centre. hey girls, really yah, it was my treat ok. i feel bad. dont need to repay me at all. three of us had mutton chop btw. anyway, i was glad to see alif. he joined us after his school. then yeah, we went to West Coast Park as suggested by me. we walked all the way from west coast hawker centre to west coast park. 20minutes walk. i tried my best to be happy while with you guys. 4 of us took loads of pictures today. haha. i like climbing that pyramid thingy(shit i forgot the name). thanx for being there always for me. u guys rock! but i could have went out with her today... cos i wanted to tell her something. but never mind. i guess its okay for now. im not going to do anything for now. i want to put an end to it. i learnt alot this one whole week. its been exactly one week we quarrelled and it ended today for good. but sorry, im very persistant. i aint giving up on her. whatever it is, i want her to know this for sure. i've been always true and loyal to her. bear that in mind. hey, chirstmas is coming up. i cant wait to kick ass. i wanna go clubbing, but the cover charge is so going to be expensive. maybe some other time la. most probably i'll go sentosa with the guys. i miss that place so much. or stay at home, i think its time for me to revise my schoolwork. or get my room clean up or change my blog layout again. bleah~ most probably i wont do anything that was listed above. im such a lazy pig. =) |
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the feeling of making someone paying for my pool games just makes me feel good and happy. all thanks to peh thong kiat. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
WHO'S THE MAN? hahaha. well, i played pool today after school. my class ended super early. eh boy, how does it feel to pay ah? /me action babi xia. LoLx. dont be angry hor if i mentioned your name here. i feel bad for making him pay at least 5bucks for the pool game. and he paid for my chicken soup cos he was late to school. HA HA HA HA to you, you grandmother fucker...!! im such a sadistic mo-fo. :p well, im going out for now... take care you all! ps: please dont rape me for this entry will ya? :p. |
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hell yeah today im like contradicting myself alot. i hate indians but yet, i went to mustafa centre with my mum. i was forced to follow her since i got nothing to do. fuck that place man. i almost puke. but nonetheless, my mum paid alot for me today. =) i bought a new shampoo, a new wax, a packet of mini chocs and she treated me and my bro to a dinner. its fun to go out once in a while with family. i have alot of chocolates with me now... u want some? LoLx.
im shocked that my previous scandal called me up today. she told me she got engaged 2months ago. and im not surprised its some other guy. when i was with her(as in close relationship) she had a bf. i knew her bf was playing along with her, but she's just so dumb not to believe me. her bf played her out anyway. she was abused physically.... kesian. but they broke up anyway after that and she found someone else better and get engaged. god, thats like so fast she got over her bf and got engaged to some other guy. she's like only 17 and i left her like around april? my goodness, dats is so young. i hope she wont go flirting around anymore.. she better get serious with her fiance. her voice is always flirtatious and it sound so sickening. see, when u're having a commitment to someone else, better not to flirt around. whatever goes around, it will come back to you. i regret dating girls who are already having bf last time. i think i wont date them anymore. i dont want to be a third party person in some relationship. and i know i will lose out in the end. hahaha. i have this curse of losing out at the end. i've learnt a good lesson this time. like what fina advised, dont love that person all out unless you know that you can get that person in the end cos it will hurt u in the end... and thats bluudy true. LoLx. ah, all i wish is just to be happy for now. cheers everybody! |
| Monday, December 20 |
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so here i am. back once again. last week was a very bad week for me. i didnt wish for it to happened. but what the hell, shit can happen anytime. when shit happenned, u said im de-meaning our friendship when im like trying to salvage whatever's left on our more-than-friend-relationship. u knew that i can't handle situation like this immediately.
i need time. its not always about me. its always about us. i tried to clear it up but still yah, shit like this, you can never forget. you're saying that im backing my friends when all the while im loving you, i will never say bad things about you even if my friends judge you from you smes-es. every sentences i said, u will always have something to say about it that im trying to back my friends up. ah well, whatever man. it was what my friends said and it wasnt me. i only said ,'why are you being so stuck up about this.' im not saying u're a stuck up person. im ONLY saying why are u stuck up about this matter? in fact im using the wrong word. i was supposed to type the word 'angry' and 'not stuck up'. and im very sorry for that. i explained enough but yet u are treating me like this. ah fuck it. im hurt. u said im no better than them when all the while u KNEW that i love you all along. you knew that i treat you like a princess... you knew that people make mistakes. all i ask is for forgiveness. and start it all over again. i believe in second chances because i believe in you and still loving you. finally i went clubbin last saturday to chinablack. the smartass me forget to bring my IC. but i had my student pass. the bouncer(some mat) didnt let me in at first but he gave me a chance. i like the ambience and i went crazy after that vodka coke. i went out on sunday with my family to watch a movie. u need to watch ocean 11 in order to understand ocean 12. somehow i feel suicidal nowdays, this pills look so kind to me. ah, its 2am now. im going out for a while. im wishing on that star, but that star, it doesnt shine. im wishing that tmr will be a better day for me. take care you all. |
| Friday, December 17 |
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i dont want to argue. its not that i meant it to happened. its hard for me to express myself when im arguing. i will always use the wrong word at the wrong time. i really dont know how to compose myself. im such a loser. talib and fina should know how bad i am when im arguing cos i always lose when i argue with them over certain things last time. im sorry to all whom i've hurt.
goodbye. |
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i didnt do anything much today except to school and work. i wasnt suppose to work, but i took over some1. anyway, today i was caught by the school warden for WEARING slippers to school. it was funny how i tried to escape from her... we were having a 5minutes break, then all of us went to the nearest vending machine and toilet. i was about to eat my chocolate bar when suddenly the warden appeared. i quickly went inside the toilet... waited for like 3minutes and went out. tried to sneak out, but she was already waiting for me outside. i couldnt do anything but faked a smile at her while my classmate were laughing their ass off behind her. buggers... hahaha.
actualli she caught me before... that was 2 semester ago and that time she let me off also. but i think she forgot my face. so she let me off again just now. and she said if she catch me again next time, she will send me a 'love letter' and another time will be a $40 fine and a counselling session. ridiculous rite? wear slipper to school and if kanna caught twice, then go for counselling. weirdos. hahaha. its good to know alot of people and i still want to get to know alot of people. seriously, i hate it when girls say this to me,'izan, im not good for you. there's always another girl out there who is better than me...'. i'll say fuck that shit man. if there's some other girl better out there than her, why would i think of dating her at the first place right? and am i that blind to date out a 'bad' girl? come la, its my choice. if you dont want me, just tell me straight to the face. i'll shut the fuck up and fuck off. and i hate the word which goes like this, 'what you dont know wont hurt.' ahh this is more worse. thats call cheating. cheating yourself and cheating the person who have no idea that he or she was cheated. i think its one of the most greatest sin. nobody knows what im going to do with my life for now. im not going to tell and im not going to even tell you a clue... only one person knows about it. =) and seriously, i dont feel like blogging for now. maybe i shall take a rest from it. there's nothing else for me to talk about. my life is so boring now. i dont wish to complain about my sad life... im not some attention seeker. maybe when there's something new, then i'll update this blog. i just made a song 3days ago. i dont know what to name it. can you all do me a favour and try to give a name for my new song yah. leave the title on my tag yah. thank you. izan - this heart, it feels so heavy. burden by emotional feelings, it makes me think, thinking if i should give up. rejection is not the turning point. its just a point where i should get up, stand on my own feet and face the world. yeah, its a sick world. we are nothing but just human who seek love every now and then and the fact is that love is revolving around us everyday. eversince i knew you, i can count how many times u asked me how am i. it seems that you dont care. assumptions sucks but yeah, i cant help to think it that way. you're always leaving me clueless, thats when assumption arises. i wish that there's never an end to this. please dont leave me alone. i wish i could run away from this but the thoughts of you leaving me, its haunting me every second. no matter what, you will always be my boo. till then. ciaoz~ |
| Thursday, December 16 |
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oo my goodness. i miss my 8am-12noon lecture today. i couldnt wake up. hehe. i was too tired ah. i went out with my good old friend. we walked around town alot yesterday. and i found a new place to relax and talk - sit at Istana Park facing the traffic. its so damn relaxing place to slack... yesterday was my first time i sat at Istana Park and went to Fish n Co glasshouse. my aunt is asking me to go KL next week during christmas. i dont know if i should go or not.
yesterday both of us agreed generally that all mats who have bikes, they have bad reputations. i repeat, ALMOST and not all of them k. they get the bikes because they could get girls anytime they want. and i do have friends who rides and admit that. others simply want to have a decent life and riding makes their life easier. and i dislike those who are simply desperate people to have girls hugging them from the back. what a bitch. i like this sentence, ' what goes around, comes around'. meaning whatever you do, it will always come back to you. please be honest to yourself people. its always the best policy to make our lives uncomplicated. i would love to thank my good old friend for always being there for me. you've been always constant friend in my life. thank you. |
| Wednesday, December 15 |
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its such a boring day in school today. surprisingly, i wasnt late considering i only slept from 4.30am-6.30am. 8-10 was my LCOM practical. then 10-12 i had LCOM(again) lecture. i slept during one of my 2hours lecture. Logistic Communication(LCOM) is such a boring module. im like having my break now, but had i nothing to do except for listening to mp3s, blogging and surfing the net with my laptop. i found a new habit -singing and talking to myself. its called self motivation. whenever im bored and down, i'll do that.
think whatever u want. but its some cool shit when you're talking to yourself. LoLx. deep deep inside, im missing her more than ever. |
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i like to walk around bukit gombak's(my area) mrt station, the lake, the sports hall the two 7-11. its just so quite and very cooling if you stroll around 2am or 3am(and i just did that cos i couldnt sleep and im having school at 8am later).
this is SO7 new song i think... i've been finding the song... anyway, i got the mp3 today. i like it so much. its so damn nice. lowina, if u're reading this, remind me to send u this song u yah. i'll bet you will like it. you indonesians make nice song. S07 rocks! sheila on 7 - berhenti berharap aku tak percaya lagi dengan apa yang kau beri aku terdampar di sini tersudut menunggu mati aku tak percaya lagi akan guna matahari dengan mampu menerangi sudut gelap hati ini aku berhenti berharap dan menunggu datang gelap sampai nanti suatu saat tak ada cinta kudapat kenapa ada derita bila bahagia tercipta kenapa ada sang hitam bila putih menyenangkan... aku pulang... tanpa dendam kuterima.. kekalahanku aku pulang... tanpa dendam kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu kau ajarkan aku bahagia kau ajarkan aku derita kau tunjukkan aku bahagia kau tunjukkan aku derita kau berikan aku bahagia kau berikan aku derita.... im feeling better. thanx to her sweet talk. man, she is so calm and relax when handling relationship problems. salut madame!(in english = salute madam) i suck at this cos i tend to have a mind block. anyway, things was totally clear at the very first start that she didnt expect anything from us. it was me all the way who fucked things up by thinking too much and jealousy is my main weakness. its my fault that it happened. we didnt expect things to happen this way. its too complicating, but complicating stuff can be solved. its just a matter of time. im sorry girl that i hurt you in anyway on the phone and at least u know what im feeling. shit happens yah? sorry baby. im still loving you no matter what. for those of you who think its mushy.... fuck off, its not for you. its for my minah. =) and dont ask me who she is. she just a very close friend of mine... |
| Tuesday, December 14 |
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yeah, im happy that kenneth is joining me to KL for new year party. yeah boy, ur ass is mine... i can be gay after midnight. watch out dude. LoLx. just kidding man. im doing quite alrite in this second week of school. my lecturer for 'How Rock Music Developed' module is a young cool caucasian man. anyway, check this out this babe... http://wakeup2reality.blogspot.com. she's cool, she's hot and she's my friend. =)
by the way, im currently listening to blink 182 - dont tell me its over. its a very nice song and i believe the lyrics is so true sometimes. blink 182 - don't tell me its over. I hear the phone it rings so violently Can't leave my room, can't breathe since she left me I will admit i hate those things i said Girls will always cry, guys will never admit they did Hold on, hold on, hold on Don't tell me that it's over, I'm not used to this temptation And when you come back running, There is no use for explanation I think these things are too hopeful, even with my expert knowledge Most girls most do mean trouble, because they are rarely honest What's with the jokes, all the routines they play Screw with my head, never cave til they get their way Guys like to run, chicks like to yell you see Guys hate to fight, girls think its therapy Hold on, hold on, hold on |
| Monday, December 13 |
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Shit Happens.
today was indeed a nice day. started the day off by going to school with fifi... its been a long time since i went to school with her... it was nice talking to her.. anyway. today was the first time i played billard. indeed it was a very nice experience and it was quite an interesting game. ah, my girl-friends in my class asked me out this saturday to clubbing! hoooray! im so happy!! they say they wanna go chinablack. uh... but i always see alot of people queuing up outside pacific plaza every saturday night. and that sucks. nonetheless, im quite pleased. anyway, im totally crippled from exhaustion. i need a break i guess. and guess what, i saw yanti after for SUCH a long time while i was working today. she passed by infront of me and she smiled at me while i was holding my ego trying not to acknowledge her... but her smile with those perfect cheeks totally melt my heart.... god.... i couldnt help it but to acknowledge her. i miss those days when im out with her. ah, those were the days. fuck it. i fixed up my laptop today. now im free from that annoying window's installer pop up asking me for a missing file. im trying my best not to think about anything except for myself. and it helped cos im feeling better. i should take good care of myself.. i dont want to be emotionally hurt... ah you... yeah you. just shut the fuck...i aint listening to you anymore, anyway. i hate you, you emo bastard. get real izan. blink182- shut up Shut the fuck up she said I'm going fucking deaf You're always too loud Everything's too loud Now that all my friends left This place is fucking dead I wanna move out When can we move out This shit has got to stop I'll run away Get the fuck up she said Your life is meaningless It's going nowhere You're going nowhere You're just a fuck-up she said I'll live alone instead She said you don't care I know I don't care I'll never ask permission from you Fuck off I'm not listening to you I'm not coming home I'm never going to come back home I got too fucked up again And passed out on the plane Tried to forget you I can't forget you No sleep on this flight I'll think about the nights We had to get through How did we get through? i think its time that i should leave.. |
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hey there. firstly, i want to wish nisa a happy 19th birthday. =) hope you'll have a happy life ahead of you. anyway, i felt sorry and guilty to be so rude talking to fina and talib. both called me up while i was sleeping. i was really tired and fed up. i didnt mean to hurt u guys... sorry yah. anyway, i made the effort to come down and meet you guys eventhough im half dead tired. anyway, its a special day for nisa. i wanna a make sure that my presence made a diff and well yeah, we had a good time hanging out... im glad that i have the same good friends throughout all this years. you know, there's two type of friends... one who come and go.... the other one who come and will stay. and i have alot who came to me and stay. you guys rock! cheers to all of you! =)
Sick Shift - Despicable Here I stay, I bet you wish I was away Such a potent opinion from someone Who was never meant to be here So alone, especially when I was with you You didn't have to suffer now I guess you made that crystal clear Can't you see? That's not me Well, I guess I wasn't looking When they slipped something in my drink Never breaks, just mistakes It's true I can't do anything right What difference does it make? Had your trust until I killed it in distrust In absentminded slumber I've burned All those bridges down I can't stand how all the grains slip through my hands Persistent state of breakdown Is running all I have into the ground Don't try to understand me Don't read between the lines You can't comprehend me It's just a waste of your time My fortune reads bitter A million ways to abuse Playing victim doesn't fit her I guess I'm born to lose |
| Sunday, December 12 |
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bonjour! yesterday soccer at jurong east was a waste of time for me. it rained before we came and the court was wet. my schedule on friday was very tight. school from 9am-5pm is just so tiring.
anyway, this is my new layout. its light greyish. i know its a boring colour... and by the way, the theme is about moving on... so yah, moving on is always boring and depressing. i thought i wanted to make my own blog but i couldnt manage to do one... so i took a template from blogskins.com... and edit here and there... the text above 'if u wanna call it an heartache..bla bla bla..' i designed that maself. ignore the grammar mistake. its suppose to be 'a heartache'. i'll get it corrected when im free. =) as usual, it took me few hours to do this editing. i was thinking about my future. i've decided to get married by 25. lol. i know its ridiculous to think about it... but yah, i live only for once. wanna get married, have kids when im 27. by the time my children become 25, im like 52yrs old.. i wanna see my grandchildren. like i say, i live only for once. i wanna experience this. i guess i have my future planned out roughly. finish NS by 23yrs old. i'll get a job with my diploma. dont worry about my degree. im gonna take it as a private candidate while working. ah you know, education is a lifelong journey. you are always never too old to study. but i think NS is really a waste of time. dont you think so? well, all this is just a plan. i hope it works. insyallah. i really love her. i hope it goes the same to her. yeah, im really a sick person with unstable emotions. if only i can get what i want. im such a dick. its broken and can't be fixed. till i get whatever i want, then i'll be a happy person. i want......YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT WHAT I WANT! =) till then. au revoir! |
| Friday, December 10 |
| yesterday was hell of a good day! it was a feeling that i never had before and a sight that i never seen before. it was guuud gooood gooooouuuddddddddd. im kinda exhausted. im going to sleep now. good nite everyone. |
| Thursday, December 9 |
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guess what. im gonna spend this saturday doing my own blog layout. MY OWN. not from blogskin or whatever. the theme is going to be: moving on and be happy.
im gonna use macromedia dreamweaver mx 2004 and try macromedia fireworks mx and will TRY to add some flash. i like this joke. One day, there's a Rooster and a Cat talking to each other by the well. suddenly the cat fell into well and it got wet. the rooster was cuukooing(laughing) away.... the moral of the story: for every wet pussy, there's always a happy cock. =) OMG this song is so nice and the lyrics can make a guy cry. muse - unintended You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended You could be the one I'll always love You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions You could be the one I'll always love I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before First there was the one who challenged All my dreams and all my balance She could never be as good as you You could be my unintended Choice to live my life extended You should be the one I'll always love I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before I'll be there as soon as I can But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before |
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oh well. yesterday was a good day. i like it. went to school for 2hours only. then had lunch @ SIM. then i went to holland village!! haha. and yesterday was the first time i step into the shopping centre @ hv. and guess what? i had a free raspberry frappucino @ starbucks! if u guys heard about the promotion starbucks was having at all its outlet in Singapore, they are giving out away FREE drinks from 12noon - 7pm. there's nothing that is always FREE in singapore dude. usually if its free, it comes along with hidden cost. but starbucks rocks! i didnt pay anything except that i donated 50cents to salvation army at Starbucks@hv.
then i went to gwc. window shopping was great and accompanying her is ALWAYS, i repeat, ALWAYS fantastic! haha. anyway, next time when i ordered french fries from mcdonalds.... no salt please. it taste better without salt. damn, i thought school start at 10am tmr... but its at 8am. hahahah. alrite y'all. im going to sleep now. stay happy always. cheers! |
| Wednesday, December 8 |
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hey. today was normal. went back to school. it was good. well, my lecturer for 'How Rock Music Was Devolped' which is an elective module, he didnt turned up after like 30minutes. i was like fuck it, im better off sleeping at home. so i left after waiting for 30mins. anyway, he sent us an apology email later during the day and told us to throw something at him next week for not turning up... i think he's a damn cool person. we'll see how rock and roll he is next week.
ahh.. work was alright today. i feel like quiting suddenly(im underpaid,overworked, young and hopeless) haha! i met my old classmate today... this cheena muslim girl. i was happy to see her at first until i saw that white stick with a yellow filter in between her fingers. i was so dissapointed that she started smoking!! i dislike smokers. why you smokers are paying at least 10bucks a day for a box of cigarette? why are you wasting your money and smoking your life away? its just temptations that u need to control! but i think smoking weed is better. hahaha just kidding. :p i wanna do well in this semester and weeks ago, i already found my motivation to wake up early and go to school, work my butt off and get good results... only god and she knows what it is. hehe. i will not aim for an A. but a B is enuff for this semester. im aiming for 2B's and 4C's. hahaha. this is my favourite blink song from 'Take off your pants and jacket' album. blink 182 - time to break up I guess its only the men Who get fucked now and again We take our chicks to the mall, We wait in parking stalls And when we come home too late, She's pissed that she had to wait And my excuse not to call, It never worked at all I used to hate the lipstick It stained and tasted so sick The pantyhose and the bras, She threw on my guitars Shit fuck i made a mistake, I thought i needed a break The truth is i'm such a dick, It's broke and can't be fixed Time to wake up Where's your daughter? Hurt's to break up, She was stronger All my friends say, Please don't love her What did i gain? Now i miss her so If you wanna call it a heartache, Then i shouldn't regret those things, i miss her If you want the pain to go away, Better suck up your pride and admit you lost her Let her go, move on, let her go, move on, let her go stay cool and happy u guys! cheers! =) |
| Monday, December 6 |
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hey you all. im back. my trip to shah alam,selangor, was good. intended to go sepang on sunday evening but it rained. anyway, we went to shah alam for this KBS Kereta Autoshow Best of the Best 2004 of malaysia. basically its about standard/extreme modified cars la. journey starts from jb with around 9proton waja cars..... and i feel so lazy to type it out. maybe some other time i'll type it out and post some pictures with it.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT MY SCHOOL SEMESTER HAS BEGUN! fuck that. im still on holiday mood. infact i was the only one who skipped a compulsory lab briefing at 10am today. at bloody 10am i was sleeping at my aunts place in JB. lol. too tired la. anyway guys, the minah is just a simple plain girl. reminder to all of you. once a malay, always a mat or minah. if u have a 'bin' on your name and staying in singapore.. thats it boy, u are one of them. and im proud to be that. and i aint talking about those lower life forms of people who wears tappered jeans, act punk, act anarchy but still take public transport(that means u're funding the goverment u STUPID FUCK). tell me whats the use of anarchy in here. u stupid fucks think that u can uphold the goverment here... dream on bitch. i aint pro-goverment... but come on la...reality check 1,2,3. HELLO, u dont have the funds or supports in this tiny island! anyway, forget those damnation fools. my minah is not those bunch of lower life forms yah guys. i think i better stop talking about this before u all start bitching again. later guys. im out of here. Incubus - I Miss You To see you when I wake up Is a gift I didn't think could be real To know that you feel the same as I do Is a three-fold utopian dream You do something to me that I can't explain So would I be out of line if I said I miss you? I see your picture I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine You have only been gone ten days But already I'm wasting away I know I'll see you again Whether far or soon But I need you to know that I care And I miss you i dont know if she cares about me... i dont know if she even loves me... but one thing i know. i miss her. -end- |
| Friday, December 3 |
| hey guys. im wont be here for a while but i'll be back on monday morning in one piece i hope. same goes to her. have a safe journey k. im gonna miss you. =) see you all next week! cheers to all of you! |
| Thursday, December 2 |
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today was a very good day. i had a nice time with the minah. its been a long time since we went out and had a good talk. i have cravings for prawn noodles!!! i just wrote a song.. anyway, this song goes to you-know-who. =) enjoy the lyrics. cheers to you!
izan - still waiting broken and down i sew myself shut way even before we dated. and if we would get through this will you still be into me? i like the word called happy if only i know the defination and how does it feel to be happy. it took me so long to realise that dreams are just an illusion chorus: i dont want anything for now well, thats a lie 'cos i still want you here with me i just want to be happy i miss you girl. im still finding the reason for living in this very life. life is totally about routines. im tired of persistent breakdowns i dont want to live in a dream. you said we won't be together but its alright, i will wait 'cos i've got the time to wait in case you change your mind and you're worth the wait. i will never let you go again. |
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i want a bike. but dad restrict me from getting a bike license. i know its a death machine but is a cheap mode of transport and i can at least transport her around. i think its a perfect age for me to get one. then maybe when i have a stable job, i can give up the bike and get a car instead. i feel so useless and dejected. if only this world is risk-free and safe.
goldfinger - dad dad, i hate to tell you sometimes i wanna slap u in the face but dad, i gotta tell you if u were gone i'll miss you from this place dont go away again i just want to be your friend and if i dont say this now im gonna be sorry i dont want to make the same mistake again. hey this song got nothing to do with me and my dad. haha. its just a song. i like it. |
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im quite pleased that taufiq won because he got the talent. but nonetheless, singapore idols is for girls and gays. come on. think about it you dudes. i wont be like going crazy, shouting their names, worshipping them with banners/print-on-tshirt/orwhatever-u-want-with-their-names-on-it and cry over them. its just not my stuff or guys stuff. fuck that fucking pussy slyvester. action rocker, but sing POP song. fuck off you pussy. fuck that fucked up pussy name u have. YOU MAKE ME SICK. YUCKS. k la, all those in singapore idols, they get the fame, they get the name and they get the girls. but i just hate that pussy to the core. why vote for a person who can fake a personality? why not vote for a person whose talent is pure? ah damn, fuck it.
anyways, last saturday, i went jalan raya. it was good to gather with all my friends again. how i wished my bro didnt use the digicam last saturday. at least i could have taken some pictures and post it. i am quite happy for now =). im going to SEPANG,KL this saturday. believe it or not, im going on a convoy trip with 300 malaysian cars. im going with my malaysian cousin. cheers everybody! |
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