| Tuesday, November 30 |
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hey guys. i was talking to an old friend of mine, dayana. i told her, if i know im dying, theres a list of things that i want to do. one if it includes playing in the rain. haha wierd ah? ah anyways, sigh, we didnt go clubbing in KL eventhough i badly wanted to go. we were dead tired when our day ended. we were so active during the day cos we went shopping and WALKED alot. and we slept very early like 1am+ i guess.
i like the go-kart racing, cos I RULE THE RACE! hahahaha. my friends said i played dirty cos during corners, when i made the turn, i didnt look behind for other go-karts and thus they had to jam brake and had to avoid my turn when they are too near me and i made two of them spun off. sorry guys, there ain't any side mirrors for me to CARE about you. hahaha :P. anyway, i spun my go-kart twice. damn it, i felt like puking when it spun. lol. i have a weak stomach. if only go-kart are equipped with Anti-Lock Braking System(ABS). am i asking too much? heh. ahh dont care, as long as i won the race, i ROCK! hahahahahaha. ah, we did alot of walking around shopping centre. i love walking around shopping centres. i bought 4shirts. a pink polo tee(finally) and purple volcom shirt. haha! pink and purple, they are gay(HAPPY) colours. cool shit dude . =) man, i wanna buy a new perfume. there's this faggot at an atrium in midvalley megamall. he introduced me clinque happy perfume for men. its damn nice lor and it made me happy! i felt like buying but i was disgusted by that faggot. not this time, maybe i'll buy it in february. hehe... anyways, here are the pictures. dats perlin, me and wei loon @ xtreme park vrooooooooming away. haha. 
dats us at KLCC. 
ah loon and me 
dats me. =) 
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| Sunday, November 28 |
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im feeling so fucking down now. i feel so lonely and scared right now. im emotionally unstable. i dont know what to do with my own life. i feel that i dont have any proper direction. for now i cant define happiness nor can i find it. for the past 4 days i was away, i was totally problem free... but when i get back home, problems haunts me again. i dont know what else to do or what else can i get from this life. i think the only way to compromise myself: be closer to god.
i miss her so much. i need somebody to talk to. iLL Nino - how can i live do you think of me? do you dream of me? i always dream about you. all that lies in me all that dies in me how can i live without you? i will talk about my KL trip when im okay. |
| Saturday, November 27 |
| im back! time:5.10am. the trip was good and im so broke. =) i'll be back with some pictures. cheers. |
| Tuesday, November 23 |
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12more hours and im out of this country. i need a break. i need some entertainment. i need to have some fun. i've just heard from my friend who stays in kl, she said zouk in kl hav age limit of 21. very strict. ah damn it, im still going to try. once again, i so hopeless in romance. like a bad star, im falling straight down to her.
i am so sorry, please dont ignore me. if only she could see me off if she have the time. anyway guys, if there's anything, just give me a call. i still have my free autoroaming, singtel kick ass! take care. im out of here. cheers everybody! =) -end- |
| Monday, November 22 |
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if only she knew how badly i wanted to meet her today.
if only she knew that how badly i would love to see her lovely face today. if only she knew that i had something for her. if only she knew how meaningful this evening could for me be if i were to meet her. if only she knew how important she is to me. if only she knew that how deep my love is. i do not wish to do something stupid. maybe get high and forget this world, yeah. am i sucidal? no. god please, show me the way. enlighten me. pardon me before i burst and rise above the flame. i feel better now. cheers and do take care of yourself everybody. till then, goodbye. KUALA LUMPUR HERE I COME HONEY! weee~ |
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i've always wanted to write something about friendster. of course everything has their own pros and cons rite? but i have issues on friendster users dude! duh, dont you think that testimonials are totally like ego-booster? and people will always like asking, 'hey can u write a testimonial for me?'. fuck, whats wrong with these people? dont they know that its so annoying. some even go to the extent by BEGGING for testimonials from frienster's bulletin. what a bitch.
anyway, i was chatting with the minah months ago in msn about friendster and i've always wanted to post this on my blog(and yeah i kept the chat log). she was talking the cons about bunch of people who bugs her in friendster. so here it goes: ||` the minah`|| says: e cons are ||` the minah`|| says: weirdos ||` the minah`|| says: psychos ||` the minah`|| says: n god knows who.. ||` the minah`|| says: are forever trying to get ur no. ||` the minah`|| says: n asking u out. ||` the minah`|| says: n sending junkz dont you think its true? i mean, you dont even know the person and yet you ask the person for number and asking the person out when u just got to know that person. *dah lama buat kerja macam gini?* <--- i love it when she say that phrase. =) kanchiong spider sia this kind of people. pelan pelan kayuh la mat if u want to get a girl's number or ask her out when you just get to know her ONLINE. |
| Sunday, November 21 |
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sometimes i feel that is my phone faulty? is my sms settings wrong? dont people learn how to reply sms-es? are they that fucking dumb? or am i the fucking dumb person who's talking to the wall? Sending an sms just to ask how are you, what are you doing, how's ur day, bla bla bla, does it hurt to reply back? what dumb friends i have. never mind =). ah, i've been lacking of sleep the past 4days. everytime when i wanna sleep, something just bothers me and it keep haunting in my dreams. damn it, u know well that i dont dream often, but this few days i kept dreaming. how fucked up is that man. dats why im afraid to sleep. i think im such paranoid kid. lol. 2 more days to KL. how badly i wish i can spend time with her before i go.
today i learnt something new from that drama at 6pm every sunday evening =). check this out: open communication is a bridge to love you cant just leave the bomb by saying i love you and leave like that and close the oppurtunity of being love or loving someone. you've gotta make the effort. gotta go. cheers! |
| Friday, November 19 |
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YAY! im not starting school on 6dec but 7th december on tuesday! on odd weeks, i have no school on monday. *me dancing*.... lalalala. but damn, i wont have long breaks in between lessons except for even weeks of monday. damn, there goes my pool games. next semester, im gonna study Supply Chain Management, Inventory Management, Principle of Marketing, Quantitative Logistic Analysis, Logistic Communication Technology. AAAAAAHHHH!!! headache ah i see all this terms. but i miss school for now. sigh, the chicken rice at canteen 1, chicken chop at canteen 4, the babes in my school, at least when im in school, i can talk alot and forget my worries. sitting at home all day makes me worry about my own life. 5more days and counting. =)
OO YA GUYS, TAGBOARD SERVER IS DOWN. because its down, my blog wont be uploaded fully. cheers everyone. |
| Thursday, November 18 |
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hey! how are you all doing man? anyway, i was working today... ended at 5+ and i went to watch a movie called TAXI... stupid funny movie. but i manage to laugh my ass off alone(yeah i watch it alone today, cool!). wookay dudes, its not that i wanna be JIWANG or wat. but i find this lyric nice eventhough its malay. i dont wanna tell whats the song name and by whom but i'd like to thank Li for the song =). i really find it beautiful.
this lyrics below goes out to that very special person. you know who u are girl. =) Telah ku lakukan semuanya kasih Telah ku korbankan segalanya Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti Apa yang engkau fikirkan Apa yang engkau inginkan Ku tahu kau tak pernah setia (kasih) Ku tahu diriku tak bererti Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti Apa yang engkau fikirkan Apa yang engkau inginkan Selagi ada cinta di hatiku Selagi ada rindu yang membara Selagi air mata ini mengalir Kau tetap di hati ini Cintamu tetap di hati Selagi ku mampu bertahan kekasih Jangan sampai cinta tiada lagi Jika memang cinta tiada lagi (kasih) Tinggalkan aku sendiri... Tinggalkan cintamu kasih... Selagi ada cinta di hatiku Selagi ada rindu yang membara Selagi ku mampu bertahan kasih Ku terima segalanya Walau hatiku merana |
| Wednesday, November 17 |
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Finch - Without You Here.
The storm is bad tonight, so how could I awake without you here? Your picture's on the wall. You haven't called. But I'll wait for you. To her own reflection, she says, "I will hold on" To her own reflection, she says, "I will be strong" The storm is letting up, but it won't die. If you weren't wrong, was I? Your picture still remains, but I wonder are you still the same? Am I losing you? Am I losing you?! I've waited, I've waited til it's over It's over now... i was thinking about my old fling, nursusiyanti(only my close friends know who she is). damn, suddenly i miss that girl. i wonder how she is now. we totally lost contact. i know i can change but everthing will still stay the same. but i know, i've lost her to another guy, as always. =) alrite, time to go to work. cheers everybody! |
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okay. today i got back home very late. 2.30am. i was working last night. talib and shakin came down and both of them got free drinks and discounted pasta and sandwich! all thanks to me. =) ah anyway, i went to supper after work... and now i feel like puking. duh.
hey, u wanna know whats the most precious items/files i have in my laptop? well... here's the list. 1)pictures(top priority: especially the ones i took with the minah) 2)mp3s(especially incubus live in KL) 3)my present school work or projects. thats all.. if my system crash(touch wood!), all the other things i dont mind losing them but not those 3listed files. i'll jump down the bulding if i lose them especially list number 1 cos thats all memories...u cannot buy memories man.... =). oo ya, im have my complimentary movie pass to use. maybe im going to watch some free listed movie tmr. im bored and i've got nothing to do after work tmr. laterz! |
| Monday, November 15 |
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im so fucked up by having a bad stomach ache early in the morning. but lucky it got better until in the evening. damn it. i was out the whole day. was supposed to work but i got some nice angel to cover me today. =) DUDE, i was so super shocked today cos i've got a letter from my old flame. damn, she sent me a letter to my home mailbox. but thats just so sweet of her to send me a personalise letter. she was just saying sorry for what happened last time... bla bla bla... but nonetheless, i feel touched by her sweet and short letter. maybe, one day i will reply it to her if i can find the time to do so.
im so bored today and i think i will sleep early tonite. hey iL, good luck for your history paper tomorrow yah and for the remaining papers too. all the best girl! cheers everybody! |
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incubus - nice to know you.
chorus: I haven't felt the way I feel today in so long It's hard for me to specify I'm beginning to notice How much this feels like a waking limb Pins and needles, nice to know you Goodbye, nice to know you....... -end- im quite happy now. =) cheers everybody! |
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okay, today was quite boring. my mum was down with flu for the past two days. sigh. after aidilfitri prayers, i went back home, clean my room. then since mum's sick, we didnt go anywhere but until at 8pm, we went to my grandparent's place cos my mum got better. sigh, i miss the folks there. im still quite surprised that i got 50bucks from my great grandmother. *me smiling*.
hmm. i'll pray for a safe journey in KL so i can get back on the 27th to jalan raya with my friends... im looking forward to it. suddenly i see an increment in my budget to go KL... thank you for the duit raya. hahaha =) selamat hari raya... maaf zahir batin... =) |
| Saturday, November 13 |
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today early morning, which is the last day of sahur for this ramadan, i had loads of fun. and indeed, as what i said earlier on, i vowed myself that i'll eat at swensen no matter what during this ramadan. ah yeah, we had sahur swensen@crown prince.
before sahur, we went to watch movies at cineleisure. THE INCREDIBLES, it kick ass although its abit lame but yah, i love superheros. haha. god, last night i laughed away all my sorrows. its good and i feel good. 
that's me at 5.15am infront of paragon. and we decided to climb up at the platform where the santa stood infront of paragon.. 
btw, take a very close look at kin(the guy in left), very nice position to get FUCK in the ass by santa. HO HO HO. 
santa and his three little children in red shirts. 
presents anybody? and im sipping away my earl grey tea now..... cheers everybody! SELAMAT HARI RAYA |
| Friday, November 12 |
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check out my other new blog... http://matt-izan.blogspot.com
its a lyric based blog. all my songs that i composed is posted there. cheers dudes. |
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im happy to annouce that im clear to next semester without failing anything. i did better than last semester. last semester i had alot of D's. i think i know why i got alot of D's. cos i had alot of distraction from that bitch scandal of mine. but this time round, i didnt have any distraction... i got alot of 3 C(60-64) and 2 C+(65-69). i dont care about my french class and starting a business module cos its an elective modules. fuck 'em. im dissapointed with my business law module (i was sick when i was taking the paper okay!) =(. and i dont need to see that stupid miss dorris tan anymore, fuck quality management!! haha. even though there's alot of C's... i think its good enough. i can do better do nex semester.
Credits: BASIC CONVERSATIONAL FRENCH D+ BUSINESS LAW D+ 1 ELECTRONIC COMMERCE C FACILITIES PLANNING AND DESIGN C GLOBAL LOGISTICS MANAGEMENT C+ QUALITY MANAGEMENT C STARTING A BUSINESS C+ suddenly i feel that i cant wait to go NS. i wanna escape from this sick sad little world. |
| Thursday, November 11 |
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sheila on 7 - dan.
dan.. apabila besok.. datang kembali.. seperti sedia kala dimana kau bisa bercandan perlahan kau pun.. lupakan aku, mimpiburuk mu dimana telah ku tancapkan duri tajam.. kau pun menangis... menangis sedih.... maafkan aku.. dan... bukan maksudku... bukan inginku.. melukaimu... sedarkah kau disini ku pun terluka... melupakan mu... menepikan mu... maafkan aku lupakan la saja diriku... belai tu berbisa membuat mu kembali bersinar dan berpijar seperti dulu kala caci maki saja diriku belai tuk bisa membuat mu kembali bersinar dan berpijar seperti dulu kala. |
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duuuudddeeeee. i've decided to blog cos i feel like doing so. i dont really look forward to hari raya btw and i dont know why and dont ask me why. working at singapore american school today was fucking tiring. its sad to say that i fast half way only today. i couldnt take it... heavy workload and hot.
13more days to KL. this are the things im going to do while im in KL. 1)eat alot 2)have fun 3)clubbing 4)find something to do to drown away all this sorrow of mine. 5)go-kart and jet-ski @ xtreme park, sunway. 6)be a loyal customer of this uncle who sells ramlee burgers every night at jalan alor. i feel that now i can stand stronger on my own grounds now. compared to the previous histories i had, i can handle difficult scenarios of problems. ahh. cheers everybody! |
| Tuesday, November 9 |
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i was painting my room and i had deep thoughts about how am i going to manage to become a good boyfriend if ever one day that happens. im still in process of painting, just waiting for it to dry and do a double coating again(and still got alot more to go). if ever one day i were to commit myself in a relationship, i'd take it as a serious one. to me, honesty & loyalty is the best policy. i just need trust and she should never take advantage of the trust i've given to her. ah you know, trust is very hard to gain from each party. once broken, thats it boy. things will never be the same again. its like a glass, once broken, even how well u try to patch up the broken pieces, it will never look the same cos there's visible cracks.
ah yah, i wont hold any barrier between her and any other guy friends she has. i dont want her just to stop her quest for having new friends because of me. it wont be fair for her. maybe if one day she meet a better person than me, why not? but its going be a REAL TEST for me to handle. there's a saying, if u really love the girl and if she wants to go, let her go. well, i think thats pure bullshit. love is about effort and care u put in on that girl. you shouldnt give up halfway. are you going to waste all that effort u put on and just let it go? come on, i've never meet a person who's that crazy to just let it go... and i've only seen it in some stupid fucked up hindustani movies. those crazy motherfuckers. hmm, thats all i've to say and yah, im fucking down now. i wont be blogging until the day i feel peace at mind and feel like typing. 2more days to deepavali. happy dipshit to all you shitheads. fuck you smelly people. you smelly people are always crowding our fucking MRTs on every fucking sunday. fuck you all. Lost Prophets - Last Train Home To every broken heart in here Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared She told me that it's all part of the choices that you make Even when you think you're right You have to give to take But there's still tomorrow Forget the sorrow And I can be on the last train home Watch it pass the day As it fades away No more time to care No more time, today But we sing If we're going nowhere Yeah we sing If it's not enough And we sing Sing without a reason To ever fall in love I wonder if you're listening Picking up on the signals Sent back from within Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here. |
| Monday, November 8 |
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so today i did something nice. had a meeting for a while.. then met my friend, whom i havent met for the past two weeks and i missed that friend of mine so so much, and then we go home together. =) man, 4more days and result will be coming out. god bless me. i hope i'll pass all. i dont want to fail any modules and retain for another 6more months. that sucks man. i want it to be a smooth journey all the way. and thats the way i like it 'ah-ha-ah-ha.' heh. i need to find some motivation to get me start running again.. hafta burn some fats thats accumulating in me cos i've been eating and sleeping alot. man, im like a part-time pig during school holidays.
2more weeks to KL... =) |
| Sunday, November 7 |
| god. its not that i want to complain that i didnt have enough sleep =), but i was flat tired today due to heavy workload. its totally a challenge to me to work morning. hehe.. ah anyways, i straight away slept when i reached home at 4pm. then, woke up just in time for break fast then, of course i bathed, and went to jurong point! man, i miss that place. JP is my favourite shopping centre followed by causeway point. oo ya, i cant wait to work at singapore american school on wednesday. going to do some catering there. 7am-6pm work. kaoz. crazy long shit hours but good pay and of cos, caucasian chicks coming up my way. hehe. i think tonite im going to do some dvd-marathon. i have 7dvd titles to go. hmm. |
| Friday, November 5 |
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i realised that its been a year plus since i went for a jam session. god, thats long and pathetic of me. duh, this sucks. jamming used to be my therapeutic exercises but i couldnt find the time to jam. i hate myself for being selfish. i think i should find some time to jam with fad and nuh if they are available. *me reminiscing the good times i had during the gig i had on may 2003*. i dont know why but i love to jam punk song. its just easy and nice to play. i love the momentum and rythem of strumming the that electronic guitar. hm, my most treasured yamaha electronic guitar(courtesy of azhari), i simply love it. i'd love to play this song below if i have the chance to jam.
Homegrown - Kiss Me, Diss Me I don't want to sit next to you. I can't believe you called me so soon. Don't try to justify what you did to me. You're just one of those troubled girls. Using me for everything but love. Don't make excuses for what you did to me. You kissed me, then dissed me, but now you say you miss me. You used me, confuse me but you don't want to lose me. Don't talk to me. Don't acknowledge me anymore. I'm just another score. I used to be all nice and sweet. Giving everything you want and need. I can't believe I did it all for nothing. Now I'm bitter I can't take no more. Don't blame this on your bad childhood. That doesn't justify what you did to me. I will run away if you stay. Screw your head on straight so it stays. cheers everybody! |
| Thursday, November 4 |
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hello again. the rest of the days for this week, i have nothing else to do but to rot at home. i couldnt work for the rest of the days eventhough i was begged to work but i have plans for the rest of the days for this week but suddenly the plans just dissapeared. *poof*. sigh. its all part of the choices that i've made. so here i am, holding on to what i have. sometimes i feel that i dont really know what's going on.
ah, im wondering how's kin doing in the jungles of brunei. i hope he's doing fine and in good health. i still wanna break fast at swensen. dont know when but i'll go one day before fasting month ends. craving for breaded chicken chop in swensen... yummy. when i go kl on the 24nov later, i'll be like going for a food festival... goin to eat kenny rogers the first thing like what me kin bud and lib did first after we check-in the hotel when we went to KL last year. the black pepper chicken is superb. then must eat the hainese chicken rice at bukit bitang there. i feel like chicken tonight! haha. |
| Tuesday, November 2 |
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it always feels good when there's always that one person who loves you to the max. i dont know if ever one day i could find that one person. i dont even know if she loves me.
hm, i dont know why but i keep on complaining about this. the world is revolving around me and i dont even know what's happening. where's my confidence?? hmm. i think one day i might just grow old alone and will never fnd my boo. argh, i think im losing my sanity. |
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my weekend in JB was very good. alot of nice food and entertainment. went to jb on saturday and it was raining like fuck. my pants got drenched real bad from the rain and it looked like i pissed on it. ah anyways, i didnt shop but my family did. then during the nite i went to bowl at damai bowling academy at johor jaya. and guess wat, i had a HIGH GAME OF MY LIFE, score=182. lolx. i know its pathetic but i really suck at it. i had 4strikes in a row(tyco case). lol.
after that went for a supper which i nearly puke cos after i ate.. i saw a cat got run over by a car. fuck, it was so gross. the cat was hopeless. i think the stomach got run over by the car. there wasnt any blood but the cat was totally paralyzed. shit dude i saw it live man. gross. then on the second day, i went for driving with my cousin's car which is a kancil. damn small car but i enjoyed driving it around for like 30minutes. i wanna get a car and a license!!! haiz. if only my dad is a super rich man. haha. got back home last nite ard 3am. currently, im listening to Papa Roach. man i love their songs especially She Loves Me Not. haiz. nobody loves me. =( Papa Roach - She Loves Me Not. When i see her eyes, look into my eyes Then i realize that she could see inside my head So I close my eyes, thinking that I could hide Disassociate so I don't have to lose my head This situation leads to agitation Will she cut me off? Will this be amputation? I don't know if i care I'm the jerk, life's not fair Fighting all the time, this is out of line She loves me not, loves me not Do you realize I won't compromise She loves me not, loves me not Over the past five years I have shed my tears I have drank my beers and watched my fears fly away And until this day she still swings my way But it's sad to say sometimes she says she loves me not But I hesitate to tell her i hate This relationship, I want out today, this is over Life's not fair, I'm the jerk Line for line, rhyme for rhyme Sometimes we be fightin' all the goddamn time It's making me sick, relationship is getting ill Piss drunk stupid, mad On the real could you feel what I feel? What's the deal girl? We're tearing up each other's world We should be in harmony Boy and girl, that is the promise we made Back in the day We told each other things wouldn't be this way I think we should work this out It's all right baby we can scream and shout Life's not fair Life's not fair Life's not fair I'm the jerk Life's not fair She loves me not Loves me not |
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Izan. 20. moffy85@hotmail.com |
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