Monday, December 20

so here i am. back once again. last week was a very bad week for me. i didnt wish for it to happened. but what the hell, shit can happen anytime. when shit happenned, u said im de-meaning our friendship when im like trying to salvage whatever's left on our more-than-friend-relationship. u knew that i can't handle situation like this immediately. i need time. its not always about me. its always about us. i tried to clear it up but still yah, shit like this, you can never forget. you're saying that im backing my friends when all the while im loving you, i will never say bad things about you even if my friends judge you from you smes-es. every sentences i said, u will always have something to say about it that im trying to back my friends up. ah well, whatever man. it was what my friends said and it wasnt me. i only said ,'why are you being so stuck up about this.' im not saying u're a stuck up person. im ONLY saying why are u stuck up about this matter? in fact im using the wrong word. i was supposed to type the word 'angry' and 'not stuck up'. and im very sorry for that. i explained enough but yet u are treating me like this. ah fuck it. im hurt. u said im no better than them when all the while u KNEW that i love you all along. you knew that i treat you like a princess... you knew that people make mistakes. all i ask is for forgiveness. and start it all over again. i believe in second chances because i believe in you and still loving you. finally i went clubbin last saturday to chinablack. the smartass me forget to bring my IC. but i had my student pass. the bouncer(some mat) didnt let me in at first but he gave me a chance. i like the ambience and i went crazy after that vodka coke. i went out on sunday with my family to watch a movie. u need to watch ocean 11 in order to understand ocean 12. somehow i feel suicidal nowdays, this pills look so kind to me. ah, its 2am now. im going out for a while. im wishing on that star, but that star, it doesnt shine. im wishing that tmr will be a better day for me. take care you all.

Izan blogged @ 12/20/2004 01:57:00 AM

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